[ Lady meows in response. She'll get him alright. ]
Invited himself into K's house and ordered him around, if I remember correctly. [ Royce says, vaguely annoyed as he goes through the cabinets. He's looking for a specific spice to add to the stew. ]
[ The mention of being ordered has K lowering his eyes to the ground in a manner resembling shame. (Until Bear intercepts, anyway, and K's glad for the distraction and resumes petting him.) There's clearly a specific context to that, but he isn't sure this is the time or place to get into it. Android enslavement isn't exactly good dinner conversation. ]
He looked ready to keel over on my doorstep. I helped him; figured Zephyr would want me to. He didn't make it easy.
Royce mentioned what he did to the both of you in Norfinbury. [ Some of it, at any rate. He's sure there's more to the story. ]
[ Dryly: ] I didn't want a corpse rotting on my doorstep.
[ That's interesting to know. Royce murdered House, but he's terrified of Alfie? But K isn't naive; he fully expects it's because Alfie may have done something worse to the man. It isn't hard to imagine that there are some things worse than murder, particularly if the murder isn't permanent. ]
About as terrifying as Lady. [ Royce teases. He's amused that K has known House for about two seconds and already is on the same level of dislike as Royce and Alfie. ]
[ Some humans have the potential to be terrifying to K, for a number of reasons tied to the absolute obedience that he'd mentioned to Royce.
But he'll attempt some levity, making a show of sizing Alfie up. ] Maybe a bit more terrifying now than when you had the appearance of a very pretty elf, certainly.
The prettier you are the more likely people are to underestimate you. [ He nudges Alfie back, and scoots over to K to collect his cat. Lady mrowls and jumps to his shoulder. ] You were possibly more graceful than me as a full elf with a bushy beard.
It was an interesting choice. Most went for Dragonborn. [ Compensating for something, he thinks but doesn't say. ]
Is it unusual for elves to have facial hair? [ As he's eyeing Royce's, presumably the result of being half-human. In fantasy novels he knows it's an extremely rare occurrence for elves, but he's curious about the real people from Royce's world. ]
[ —Oh. That detail about why Alfie chose to be an elf is rather more interesting than elven facial hair. It seems sweet. K looks between the two with a slight smile, asking Royce: ] Then were you a human in the game?
[ It's the logical conclusion to draw, clearly. But he also isn't going to ignore what seems to be self-deprecation. ] There's that saying about the best of both worlds. [ Hopefully Alfie won't mind his househusband being complimented like that. ]
I've had my head shaved once or twice in my life. Let me assure you it is not a good look for me. [ As for K's question: ] I didn't really play in the game, unfortunately. I was sick for most of it.
Alfie dragged me in on the last day and I went with what I am. I didn't exactly feel like not being able to hear or see.
[ Aw, that's not very imaginative, Royce. K's tone is a little teasing. ] Should've been a gnome and had Alfie carry you everywhere, like I did for Harley.
[ The other part is genuinely puzzling, though, and it shows in his expression. ] None of the races were blind or deaf, from their descriptions.
[Alfie doesn't say anything in response to that - Royce's enhanced senses are his to explain (or not explain) as he sees fit. The stew is pretty much ready by this point, so instead, he'll busy himself with sorting that out, taking it off the heat and starting to portion it into the bowls. K's goodies will finally get some attention here, too - he picks up the bottle of wine, examining it, and then lifts the cover on the cake box to peek in.]
... Oh. Of course. [ It was just hyperbole then. He feels a bit dumb. But to be fair, he just hadn't been assuming Royce was necessarily like the elven fantasy tropes in that respect. He raises his eyebrows, trying not to smile. ] It wasn't, but now that you mention it. He could just as easily carry you around as you are now, huh.
[ To Alfie, when he notices him checking out the cake: ] I asked Phil to make it kosher. In case.
[ Royce had mentioned House harassing Alfie over being Jewish. K remembers details like that. ]
[Alfie turns to look at him over his shoulder, surprise - a pleased sort of surprise - naked on his face.]
Thank you, mate; how did you know? Royce told you, I suppose. Or you saw the--
[He gestures to the top of his own head. He's not actually wearing his yarmulke now, and he hadn't worn it in the game world, but he wears it around town often enough.]
[ Royce makes a face at K, playful. It's really almost amazing how much more comfortable he is in Alfie's presence - and how loose he is in his own home. ]
I mentioned you're Jewish, off-hand. I shouldn't be surprised he remembered. [ Royce says, wandering to the table. He scritches at Lady, who purrs like a motorboat. ]
Came up when we were talking about what House did to you both. At least something good can come of it. [ Because the apple cake is definitely good. He got to try the practise-run that Phil baked first.
He'll follow Royce to the table, but wait to either be told where to sit or take whichever place is left after the hosts are seated. The number of times he's been invited to dinner can be counted on one hand with fingers left over, and never with more than one person before, so this is very, very new to him. ]
[Alfie, for one, doesn't direct him to sit anywhere in particular - and it's a pretty big table, with bench seats, so he'll have options. Once all three bowls have been brought over, Alfie slides in next to Royce.]
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[Alfie definitely doesn't sound surprised here, but interested? Definitely.]
What's he done, then? What sort of ass is he making out of himself now?
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Invited himself into K's house and ordered him around, if I remember correctly. [ Royce says, vaguely annoyed as he goes through the cabinets. He's looking for a specific spice to add to the stew. ]
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He looked ready to keel over on my doorstep. I helped him; figured Zephyr would want me to. He didn't make it easy.
Royce mentioned what he did to the both of you in Norfinbury. [ Some of it, at any rate. He's sure there's more to the story. ]
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[Alfie turns down the heat on the stew, letting it simmer while he gets out bowls and silverware.]
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Should've just left him out there, Zephyr's will be damned. [ Royce grumbles. ] If it gets worse, tell Alfie. House is terrified of him.
[ Which is endlessly annoying to Royce, stupidly enough. ]
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[ That's interesting to know. Royce murdered House, but he's terrified of Alfie? But K isn't naive; he fully expects it's because Alfie may have done something worse to the man. It isn't hard to imagine that there are some things worse than murder, particularly if the murder isn't permanent. ]
Why's that?
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[He says seriously, fully aware that from K's perspective, the answer will likely be no.]
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But he'll attempt some levity, making a show of sizing Alfie up. ] Maybe a bit more terrifying now than when you had the appearance of a very pretty elf, certainly.
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[He nudges Royce in the side.]
I was very graceful; I've got no regrets.
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The prettier you are the more likely people are to underestimate you. [ He nudges Alfie back, and scoots over to K to collect his cat. Lady mrowls and jumps to his shoulder. ] You were possibly more graceful than me as a full elf with a bushy beard.
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Is it unusual for elves to have facial hair? [ As he's eyeing Royce's, presumably the result of being half-human. In fantasy novels he knows it's an extremely rare occurrence for elves, but he's curious about the real people from Royce's world. ]
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[He gestures to Royce. And then he goes quiet, waiting for his answer to K's question.]
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[ It's the logical conclusion to draw, clearly. But he also isn't going to ignore what seems to be self-deprecation. ] There's that saying about the best of both worlds. [ Hopefully Alfie won't mind his househusband being complimented like that. ]
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The best of both worlds, yeah. Imagine you bald.
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I've had my head shaved once or twice in my life. Let me assure you it is not a good look for me. [ As for K's question: ] I didn't really play in the game, unfortunately. I was sick for most of it.
Alfie dragged me in on the last day and I went with what I am. I didn't exactly feel like not being able to hear or see.
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[ The other part is genuinely puzzling, though, and it shows in his expression. ] None of the races were blind or deaf, from their descriptions.
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[ u callin him short, bucko - no, he knows K isn't, he just likes teasing back. ]
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[ To Alfie, when he notices him checking out the cake: ] I asked Phil to make it kosher. In case.
[ Royce had mentioned House harassing Alfie over being Jewish. K remembers details like that. ]
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[Alfie turns to look at him over his shoulder, surprise - a pleased sort of surprise - naked on his face.]
Thank you, mate; how did you know? Royce told you, I suppose. Or you saw the--
[He gestures to the top of his own head. He's not actually wearing his yarmulke now, and he hadn't worn it in the game world, but he wears it around town often enough.]
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I mentioned you're Jewish, off-hand. I shouldn't be surprised he remembered. [ Royce says, wandering to the table. He scritches at Lady, who purrs like a motorboat. ]
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He'll follow Royce to the table, but wait to either be told where to sit or take whichever place is left after the hosts are seated. The number of times he's been invited to dinner can be counted on one hand with fingers left over, and never with more than one person before, so this is very, very new to him. ]
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This, if you were wondering--
[He gestures to his bowl of stew.]
-- is not entirely kosher.
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so no retconning will be needed lol
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