obeir | Deerington Inbox

[Martin's eyes widen and the fond blush colors to something far more mortified.]

That's, uh... we don't- I-I mean he's- we're not-

[Oh, god. Is it his place to even out Jon? Not that there's anything wrong with being asexual, but he's never even heard the man refer to himself that way. Not to mention, that's something personal you don't just go blabbing. Even though he... really wants to tell K everything right at the moment.]

It's great! I don't think that's going to be a problem!

[Don't mind him if he just dies from embarrassment now, thanks.]

[ K knew his remarks were veering into potentially embarrassing territory, but he wasn't aware of just how awkward it would be until Martin begins stammering.

"We don't—"
"We're not—"

It's unclear what he's getting at and K has to consciously tamp down his curiosity before his mind starts filling in the blanks. But, oddly, his usual impulse to duck his head and show deference in the face of human discomfort never quite manifests. Instead, there's a slightly teasing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he regards Martin. ]

You're not...? [ He prompts, then wonders if maybe it's none of his business. ] But that's good. I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble. Or have his first impression of me be unfavourable. [ Because it feels exceptionally important right now that both Martin and his mate like him. For... some reason... ] Didn't mean to embarrass you, either.

He's still a virgin.

[Oh, god, what is he saying? What are the words tumbling out of his mouth right now? It's like he wants K's reassurance and guidance, but that doesn't make any sense. They're just starting to get to know each other. You do not talk about that with someone you've just met.]

I-I-I mean, I think he is. We haven't talked about- We cuddle. I really like cuddling with him. It's nice. It's all I need. Um!

[He's going to cover his face because he's really going to expire.]

I don't know why I'm telling you this!

[ K's expression suggests he doesn't know why Martin's telling him that, either. Which he quickly attempts to suppress, under the assumption that this is a... sensitive topic. Best to tread lightly before Martin implodes from embarrassment. ]

If that works for both of you, that's— good? [ He doesn't mean for it to be a question, but it comes out sounding like one. ] Companionship and physical affection are good.

[ Very good, in his opinion, considering even he's found himself wanting them. But he does have enough knowledge of human physiology to realise there's probably a reason why sex is generally considered a need for them. (To the point where they create an entire line of android pleasure models for that sole purpose...) ]

It's all you need, [ He says delicately. ] but you might like... more, with him? [ Is that what Martin was getting at? Because it kind of sounded like that. ]

I-I don't- I-

[He wants to sink through the floor, but for some reason he feels like he needs to answer the Alpha, like it's his duty.]

Maybe? Only if he wants it. Mostly, I just want him to be safe and happy and just feel... good. I don't... actually care how that happens as long as I get to be a part of it. Does that make sense?

It makes sense. [ Then, gently teasing: ] And sounds romantic. I hope he appreciates it.

Have you told him any of this?

[ Because, as K has recently learnt himself, if you want something badly enough sometimes you have to lay your cards on the table and just hope for the best. Considering Martin and Sims are evidently mates, Martin being honest with him doesn't seem too risky; there's obviously reciprocated feelings here, in some fashion. Maybe Martin just needs... a bit of a push?

Which K attempts to provide: ] He's your mate, after all.

[Uh...]

I mean, we... talk? [Sometimes? Both of them struggle a bit with communication in different ways.] But he's not my... um. M-mates are a specific thing with all the stuff that's going on, right? Like... being married? I'm not sure if he'd be comfortable with that. Not right now.

Are they? [ Because at this point in time, K's unmated, too. It's like being married? That's... an unusually appealing thought, actually. Maybe because he wouldn't normally be permitted to marry, seeing as he's legally property and not a person. ] I thought— because you smell so much like him...

[ Well, that doesn't really change his advice. ]

Your boyfriend, then. That's still significant. Significant enough to warrant talking to him about how you feel. [ His expression darkens with concern as he asks: ] Are you worried about how he'll react?

[ This is not even the first time he's had Concerns when it comes to Martin's relationship with the archivist. ]

Wh- No. I mean- yes? But not- I'm worried about making him uncomfortable. I just want to be- I'm the one who's probably had more experience, so it's on me to make sure any kind of-of discussion like that is safe and comfortable for him.

In the worst case, I could- I don't know, I could accidentally trigger a panic attack? He's had a lot of bad things happen to him. I don't know where all his boundaries are, and I just want to be responsible. If we're going to have that kind of relationship, it needs to be- I'm going to make it as easy for him as possible.

[ That answer seems to ease K's concern back to a more polite curiosity. Little does Martin know, K's also discovering more about the vagaries of navigating a relationship from him. He's had so few healthy examples from which to learn. ]

You sound very careful and conscientious. I don't think you'll need to worry about panic attacks. If you explicitly ask him where his boundaries lie, do you think he'd tell you? The onus of communication isn't all on you.

[ He's certain of that much; it should be a partnership, not one-sided. ]

I think... he'd try? I'm not sure he really knows what they are, though. He's not great at thinking about himself and what makes him uncomfortable or might hurt him. It's sweet in a way, I guess, but it's, uh... really annoying, too? Like, he chucked himself into an evil coffin to rescue someone once. A coffin that no one had ever come out of after going in. I had to pile-

Well, I had to do something to help him find his way out, but he's a complete moron sometimes about what is and isn't a good idea.

And that sort of thoughtlessness isn't... the healthiest approach to these matters. [ To put it delicately. And in a weird way, it's also making more sense of Sims's attitude about the whole Arid situation. ]

You have your work cut out for you. Does he know that you essentially have to do double duty just to compensate for his lack of— self-awareness? [ If that's the right term for it. ] Maybe if you made him aware of that, he might put forth more of an effort for your sake.

[ One would hope, anyway. Because that's how partnerships should work. ]

Oh, I don't- I mean- He-he's just like that, I guess? It's fine. I'm used to it.

[He's extremely used to compensating for someone else's emotional volatility and lack of awareness.]

He used to be a lot worse, so it's... um. Got better? In some ways.

[And so much worse in others.]

You're used to it. [ K's flat tone is saying what his words aren't: that still doesn't make it acceptable. Especially not for a human. Why does Martin stand for that kind of treatment? It's strange, the way Martin is almost reminding him of another android here. Strange and uncomfortable.

Leaning back, he regards Martin with a thoughtful frown. ]

What do you get out of your relationship with him? Out of curiosity.

[This conversation has gone so many ways that Martin hadn't been expecting it to, but that question? That's an easy one. He offers a small shrug, and then looks down and away with a smile.]

He loves me. And he... appreciates it when I take care of him. He says thank you when I bring him tea or food and lets me hold him when we go to bed and just... I don't know. He lets me love him and he's grateful for it. It's nice.

[ Martin's answer makes K fall silent, almost taken aback, but not out of any sense of disapproval this time. Love? He's intrigued, despite himself. ]

How do you know it's love? [ He asks at length, his tone openly curious. For better or worse, this is a little less about Martin's relationship with the Archivist and more of a robot-learning-how-to-person query. ]

Jon's... special.

[A long pause.]

In more than just the... standard ways. Something really bad happened to me. He rescued me from it, knowing he was probably going to die doing what he did, knowing I might be lost already. And the way he got me out... He showed me how he sees me. I've never- I didn't think I could ever make anyone feel like that.

It's love.

[ So Sims is capable of genuinely caring about Martin... And K almost says as much aloud before catching himself. A courtesy that has more to do with the pack instincts — he doesn't want to cause an omega any distress — than anything else, at this point. ]

I'm... glad you have each other, then. [ It's only difficult to express because Sims is one half of this equation. And what he follows it up with is even harder. ] I realise I didn't have the best introduction, learning about him through what he did to Arid. But since they've agreed to move past that... Maybe I should give him a chance, too.

[ And he will, eventually, during that brief shining period before the Archivist thoroughly and utterly destroys relations with the synthetics of Deerington. ]

[Martin's soft smile widens.]

I'd really appreciate that. We both would. I promise he's not- He does a lot of stupid and impulsive things, especially when he's scared. But he's so much more than that. He's really clever and brave and stubborn and cute and...

[He trails off, biting his lip, but still smiling as he looks down.]

And he's mine now. So that's... pretty amazing. Even without being mates.

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cw: talking about virginity/sex (just putting this here in case)

cw: talking about virginity/sex (just putting this here in case)

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

cw: talking about virginity/sex

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